flying against the wind


This may sound cliche, but 2013 taught me so much. Not only about life in general, but about myself and what I am able to handle. This year brought some pain and hardship, but it mainly brought me happiness and overwhelming blessings.

To start out 2013, I was attending Oklahoma State. This was my second year there. I was content with the way my life was at the time, going through life not doing anything that was benefitting me. I was attending school, making good grades, had pretty good friends, and on the outside, life seemed great. However, in reality, I was also staying to myself a lot and going home all the time. I was very unhappy and wanted a way out. I would have much rather spent time out of Stillwater and by myself. I knew I had friends, but at the same time felt alone and lonely.
The entire time I was at OSU, I battled the issue of whether or not transferring was the right move. I always decided to stay where I was and everything would turn out fine and eventually get better. Finally, I decided to change the way I was going through life at OSU and tried to be super involved in my sorority and make friendships. It turned out to be just another way I was trying to fill the loneliness I was dealing with and it eventually died out, leaving me feeling even more alone.
As I look back now, I was just going through life there, but never did anything more than what was required of me. My relationships with friends and especially The Lord were nothing more than the bare minimum. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t, going with the ways of the world and trying to fit in. I was not seeking The Lord like I know I should have been. I thought by filling myself up with other things and just going to church every now and then, it was fine. I mean I am a huge Christian and God has always been apart of my life, but at this time in my life it was just something on the back burner.
Around March of 2013, I found myself seeking out The Lord more than I had in awhile! I was coming home a lot still, but was going to a church that truly challenged my walk with God. I was praying that there would be a way for me to finish strong, create lasting friendships, and be happy, not just content.
My family and I went to South Padre for a family spring break trip. My dad went to Baylor University and decided that since it was on the way, we had to stop in Waco and relive his glory days. Little did I know, this stop would change my life forever. That night, my mom and I walked around campus and I felt the presence of God all around campus. I felt Him and could see His presence all over Baylor’s campus. There were so many Bible verses on the sidewalks and so many chapels, it was amazing! However, it was not just that that caused me to want to transfer, it was just this amazing feeling. Baylor was just finishing Spring Break, so there were not any students on campus at the time. It was empty, no one was there to influence my decision or sway me to transfer, it was truly the work of God.
After that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about Baylor and what my life would look like if I attended that university instead. I told my dad that I felt like I was being called to transfer and he kind of laughed at me, but he told me to just see how much the application fee was. I was overjoyed when I saw that there wasn’t one because that meant I could at least apply! There was a chance! I had hope! I was so excited about taking the first step that I applied on my phone, while in the car. I couldn’t wait any longer.
Once I applied, the waiting began… but within one short week I found out where God was going to take me. The perfect thing was, I found out literally 5 minutes before I needed to head back to Stillwater. This showed me that God was in control of my life and wanted to do what was best for me. It may not seem like much, but to me it meant everything. I had not told anyone except my parents about my application and was completely worried about going back and having to put on a front for my friends. So, by my acceptance coming right before I needed to get on the road, I knew that God was working in my favor.
Having to face my friends was even harder than I ever expected it to be. It was by me telling them that I started to actually see how hard this change would be. I would have to leave the friend group I had started college with. I was not sure of who I was going to be friends with at a new school, especially transferring halfway through my college career. At that point, the Devil started to put doubts in my mind about why I really wanted to go there and things of that matter. I knew that by going to Baylor I was doing what was best for me, but little did I know how out of my comfort zone I would really feel at first…
Fast forward to this summer, I am working at a camp and beginning to get out of my comfort zone. I was just a shy and unconfident young woman when I started the summer, but I left a changed person. My heart was not prepared for what God was planning to do in my life and how He would use some people I barely knew to be able to have such an impact on my life. I met some of my very best friends this summer and by having friendships completely centered around Christ, I saw how much better that was. I was also bettering myself and becoming more confident in Christ and in who I was.
About half way through the summer, I was not really sure of where I was going to live and texted a Theta that I had met to see if she knew of anyone needing a roommate. Within 30 minutes, she told me there was an open spot in her apartment. It was just another way God was blessing me and I literally could see His plan for my life unfolding before my eyes. I get to live with some amazing women of God that are constantly lifting me up.
Finally, it was time to move to Waco. I couldn’t believe it was happening, I mean it still doesn’t feel real. I was slightly nervous, but for the first time in my life, I was not worried. I had confidence like never before because I really knew where God wanted me. I knew that no matter what, I was going to thrive and God would provide me with the friendships I needed. I was overjoyed and couldn’t wait to meet my everyone and start the semester.
I was meeting people who had hearts filled with the Lord and you could definitely tell that there was something different. I found an amazing job that I never expected. My roommates were way better than I expected!! They have turned out to be some of the best friends I have had and I know I’ve already made lifelong friendships. I also received a position in Theta that I never thought I would get, especially with it being my first semester there. It was the position that I had wanted, but not received a year earlier. I was being blessed beyond belief and was so much happier. I no longer felt lonely.
I am not saying that this transition has been always smooth. I got homesick a lot a first and it was a little lonely not knowing anyone, but knowing that that is where God wanted me was a wonderful thing. It gave me hope that I would receive everything that I deserved. I could already see that. I had a plan for my life now. I knew where I wanted to be and that was exactly where I was.
It is hard to go against the grain and against what everyone else says, but when you do you will soar. There is a famous quote by Winston Churchill, “A kite fly highest against the wind, not with it.” This quote has meant so much to me because Theta is represented by the kite and I have gone outside of my comfort zone and against what people told me to do. It is not easy to against the wind, but trust me after everything, it is SO worth it. You deserve to be the best you. You deserve to have a wonderful life and be happy with where you will eventually end up. If you are not happy in the situation you’re in, change it.
Trust in the Lord and truly seek after Him and He will place you exactly where you deserve to be!